You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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