Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
