He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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