I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
