Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
