yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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