some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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