the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
