She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
