Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
