ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
