well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
