do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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