I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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