she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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