K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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