i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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