That's when you crack a 10am beer
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
