Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm too high and old for this...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
