Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
