she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
