he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
