would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
