Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
