hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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