You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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