I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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