I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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