I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
