I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You're like the curious george of whores
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
