we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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