I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
