You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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