I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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