i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
