i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i dont even know how to be here
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
