Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
