What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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