I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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