I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she was so not down for the gang bang
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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