Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
