After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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