I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
