I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
