I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
