I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize