he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
