I bet he comes in French.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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