i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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