I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
