I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Even the bartender felt bad for me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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