ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
