On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
