I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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