Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
