so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I supernannyed him into submission
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
