normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
