Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
