Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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