Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
