considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
