Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
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