So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
